Thursday, June 11, 2009

Summer in the City

Tonight I rode bikes for the fist time in Chicago ever! It was so much fun, and a lot less scary than I expected.

I really miss living in Logan Square, and I'm disappointed that I didn't fully take advantage of living there when I did. Who cares if I had a crazy landlord/roommate.

I went to a house show last night at my friend's place whom I haven't seen for an extremely long time and we were catching up and he said, "You're moving to S.Korea?" Thoughtful pause ...

"Aren't you going to be lonely?"

Of all the reactions I get, that was a very new and sad one. I was surprised and had to think about it for a moment ... "yeah, maybe, but I hope not." I shrugged my shoulders and talked about the thriving expatriate community, and how I had some friends there already. I got a little uncomfortable. But thinking about it now doesn't make me feel so awful. Unfortunately I'm the type of person that can feel lonely in a room crowded full of acquaintances. So I run the risk of loneliness where ever I go. I don't know what that says about me (probably not good), but loneliness isn't about location it's about a state of mind. That I realize.

One of the many reasons I'm excited about South Korea is that I get a chance to be the person that I'm really striving to be without having the background of being the person who I wasn't so happy with, flaky, anti-social, awkward, not-at-all punctual blah blah (this isn't a pity session), etc. It's hard when you are trying to change yourself and you have a momentary relapse and people aren't surprised, "well that's just so and so." If I'm a little lonely for a year, that's okay. I make a lot of excuses for myself, and I finally realized that's not how I want to live my life. I want to be do stuff, instead of just talking about doing stuff!

In the sunshine news sector: I FINALLY GOT NEW GLASSES, whoop! Two pairs.

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