Cause = Time

When I got home my roommate was on the couch passed out watching a silent movie.  Soft piano plinked in the background.  I was left alone to ponder the facts. There was something lacking and so it would always be.  I wanted so badly to just sit next to him on a couch.  Wrap around him in sleep.  Bridge the lonely gap that had sprung up between us.  There was nothing to be done.  So I went into my room and collapsed into a pile of tears thinking that if we were seasons he was winter and I was spring.

Guilty as Charged

Really interesting article about texting nuances.
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/03/dragging-it-out/309220/

At one point in my life I was the person who hated texting.  Now, I'm an expert.  Scratch that, if I had a dollar for every time I texted the wrong person or thigh dialed someone, well I would have many dollars!  Texting is still largely a pain in the ass, but the ethnography surrounding the language is interesting.  In a short decade an entire culture has adapted to most of the rules and mores of a vile cross between the written word and an "unspoken" language.  Can't live with it, and well can't really live with out it.  Mainly, because I would not want to spend as much time on the phone as I do texting.

My current text "isms"

Oh noesss.
Shyeah.
Yesssssss!
Thaaaaanks dude!
No probs.
Also, the whole question behind, how quickly one should or should not respond to a given text.

Is there an age limit on this kind of admittedly obnoxious communication??

Crank Power

The other day my pedal came off my bike while I was riding home from work.  No harm, except a half mile walk of shame.  The thing is, I'm too busy to get into the shop and get some new pedals.  I feel naked without my bike.  I don't want to go anywhere.  How did I get around before my bike became an intricate part of who I am?  Not that I really have time to ride this week, but still.

STILL,  I miss riding, if only to work. 3.5 weeks.  I gotta keep that in my head, then I can ride all I want.

This Week

This song and baja blast slushies are the only good thing going for me this week.



Woof.

Pizza Date Gone Horribly Awry

Last night I went out on a date.
I KNOW.  WEIRD.
It was going awesome.  Like, he wasn't being creepy and I wasn't drinking too much, and we lost track of the hours we were laughing so hard.  Then (there is always a then, right, ha ha) an old friend sat down to chat and catch up, which was awesome, that is, until he started talking about me and my ex boyfriend.  "Hey, how's S?  You still talk to him right?  You guys are still friends, still hang out?  No bad blood.  I mean I love you both.  I don't see him so much, but you know it would have been hard to chose.  It's too bad, y'know.  Great couple."  Then he preceded to tell my date how we met and how he gave me a hard time about hanging out with those "bums."

Wut?  No.

I'M GOING TO BE SINGLE FOREVER!

3 ex boyfriends within a 5 mile radius.  Is this a cosmic sign that I should move to another state?  Or am I just an ex boyfriend magnet?  Ya'll can't escape me.

Messylife. Sigh.

Walking the Cow

On Sunday I went to a book swap.  This gal started talking to me about life, and quickly the conversation became heavy heavy.  She convinced me to take a cheesy pastel book titled, "Always Believe in Yourself and Your Dreams."  I flipped it open today to avoid studying and a four leaf clover was pressed into the pages. 

The book's cheese lived up to its pastel binding and I accidentally broke one of the leaves off the clover, but goddamn it if it didn't mean something.

blw messaged me today out of the blue.  We hadn't spoken since I got his package in the mail. He has this way of challenging me and pushing me to dream big from the thousands of miles away.

I've been struggling a lot with personal fears and limitations lately.  I recently realized the extent of the limits I impose upon myself in my goals and relationships, are basically due to a fundamentally low self-worth.  It's a really weird thing to identify in yourself.  I've always thought I've had a pretty decent self-esteem.  But I never really believed the things I told myself. 

Things are pretty crazy in my life right now.  A lot of change is on the horizon, and I want to be able to fully embrace it all without being dragged down by an idea of who the last unicorn should be.

When I got my tattoo on my arm, all of a sudden I didn't mind showing off my disproportionately big arms that had kept me in cardigans for the past five years.  My arms became beautiful.  But really they were the same genetic wings as before, the only difference was my perception.  

Most things are a matter of perception.