Monday, January 28, 2008

I love your lungs ...

She tiptoed across the water. She threw the pasta out the window. She wept over spilled coffee, and milked her own cows.

She had a nagging feeling that nothing would turn out right. Everything would turn out right. Everything is right.

She laughed and she cried. She gave and she died.

Isn't it a bitch ... I decide to leave one place, and immediately upon that decision that place gets really interesting and laughy and fun. Ha ha, oh well, such as life, eh?

I'm inexplicably irritable today. I mean really, no period, good night's sleep, great weekend, and decent weather. Is this common? I just have this underlying feeling of discontent (bordering on anger) roosting in the pit of my stomach. Chemical imbalance? Did I eat too much garlic bread last night? What's worse is who I direct my discontent towards. YUCK!
I think I was over [socially] stimulated the past couple of days. Maybe I need to be alone for awhile?

Today I ran up ten flights of stairs. At the top I wanted to collapse into a pile of feathers. I unlocked doors and went to work instead. My fingers and mind are working hard towards an ideal. I'm creating something with my hands and my mind.

Yes, this post and the six previous posts have been somewhat inchoate, but that's how I'm feeling these days. Sincere apologies.

I can't wait for banjo class to start. I'd imagine that strumming soothes the restless soul, no?

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Visions of the Self

"The carpet, too, is moving under you.
And it's all over now, Baby Blue."

Life is so funny. I'm sitting on the floor of my dining room with a faucet for a nose.

I'm thinking about how it's so annoying that everyone tries to force their social mores on everyone else. I also just peeled the protective plastic off my lap top. You, know THAT plastic, the kind that is oh so satisfying to peel off. I lasted about two months, that must be some kind of record.

I just sneezed four times in a row. More kleenex and more snot dripping out m'nose. I would rather still be in bed with S. I mean the world would keep spinning if we stayed in bed cuddling forever. Politicians would still lie and rapists would still rape if we stayed nestled in our flesh tents till we died of warmth and happiness.

*shrugs shoulders.

Last night I had one of the better nights since I've been in Chicago. Roommates and I had a fancy dinner and then we drank wine and sang and laughed around the table. This lasted late into the night, as it should have. How much better can you get a cold evening in the city? Of course everyone went back to their normal busy busy selves. Except for me. I took my time and breakfast turned into lunch. I ran into an old friend who was very happy. It made me very happy.

We talked for a long time and it made me feel good about the weather getting warm. This week was a very illuminating one for me. I don't have anyone telling me what's my next step, and maybe for the first time I'm not scared. I know that I can do this whole living thing, and I can do it on my own terms. Now only if I can stop this nose from running.

Floss your teeth ladies and gentleman. Preventative medicine is where it's at ...

Wednesday, January 23, 2008


Making big life decisions, oh shit.
This is sort of exciting.

Is it too early to start a countdown to spring? I'm tired of wearing socks and covering up my legs!

Thursday, January 17, 2008


this is one intense period.

Not, an intense period after all. Intensely sick. If I move something comes out of me that's not supposed to be coming out of me. Boo, for real sick days.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Everybody Want a Piece of Me

Yesterday I was watching CNN cover a recent medical breakthrough. The story was about researchers getting a lab-grown rat heart to beat independent of a body. It is a significant breakthrough for the replacement of ailing human organs. Lower rates of organ rejections etc. Quite interesting stuff, the thing that really got my panties in the bunch was the way CNN chose to cover this story.

For the duration of the broadcast the screen was split in three ways. The bottom of the screen had the usual scrolling information and the other half was devoted to another news story. I think that splitting the screens to allow more information to be dispersed is fine. But the scrolling feature and the more dominant news screen was devoted to live footage and up to the second scrolling updates about Britney Spears being "hours late to her child custody hearing." The volume of the Britney story far exceeded the volume of the much more interesting (in my oppinion and hopefully yours) scientific breakthrough story.

Are you kidding me CNN? I hope you got your ratings boost, because you just lost a viewer. Is it our fault? Do we as a people hold these two issues in the same light? I could care less whether or not BS is running late to her own funeral. I thought it to be in very poor taste, and nearly immoral to broadcast these stories together. CNN gets two thumbs down from The Last Unicorn and hopefully many other people. Don't get me wrong, I like reality television just as much as the next gal, BUT their is a time and a place.

I suppose I'll stick to and for my news.

Friday, January 11, 2008

A smattering of thoughts ...

I'm being neglectful, but new year's times are busy times.

Let's see. School starts Monday and I'm really jazzed. I'm taking a writing class and a psychology class. In March I'm taking a BANJO class, at Old Town School of Folk!! I'm super jazzed about that. If I could just write, strum, and grow things forever, I'd be the happiest lady of all time. The year thus far is shaping up to be stupendous.

Today I'm going to a hockey game for FREE with the cutest guy in the world, and boy am I excited. I could type a lot more things like how I want to buy this obscure German board game called "Ghost Party" or how I want to stop wearing bras, but I don't think I need to, not today. I just don't feel inspired.

Cheers. More next week.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Mid Winter Thunderstorms are Sexy

Except for my mother, who loves the wintery cold, I feel like everyone says the same thing concerning winter, "I like the snow up until Christmas, after that it could disappear for all I care." Well everyone got their wish! The snow, like three feet of it, just disappeared over night. Here we are at the beginning of January and it's 56 degrees. Yesterday I walked against the wind without a coat or mittens and I didn't feel like I was going to die. It's weird and wonderful.

I don't know what this warm phenomenon (global warming, climactic cycles?) can be chalked up too, but I'm definitely not complaining. If we don't get another day over 30 degrees until March, I think I've gotten enough warmth to last me. After all I'm usually complaining like a banshee about the cold by mid January.

Go outside and enjoy this nice gift.

Monday, January 07, 2008

To Wanda

I <3 You.


Thursday, January 03, 2008

Color Theory

The book was white with black and red. His pen was black with white and red. The words were blue and new and he left his yellow heart. She felt disconnected with most things except him. Even though sometimes he didn't make sense to her at all, he was the only one who made sense to her at all. The New year was white and fizzy and messy, but still she thought of him. Of the new year and staining things a verdant green. She thought of adventures and grand escapes. When she read the book she thought of him, adventures, and everything the silly world has to offer a little girl.