I've been neglectful sweet blogspot. I've been busy. Very busy, but I'm done. I'm home now, or something like a home. I get to sleep on an air mattress all summer, but it's nice to have family in one place.
Now I have the prestige. Not that I wanted it or really cared about it. I ran into a friend the day after grad. ceremony she said, "You! Last unicorn always the rebel, walking was the worst decision I've ever made in my college career. They treated us like a heard of cattle, it was ninety degrees in there!" I hung out with the Last Unicorn clan instead, we ate ice cream and watched movies, it made me smile.
*Just a moment ago, I lied ... I'm not sure how much I wanted it, but eventually I cared.
BUT NOW ...
This summer (no more fifty page media audits!) I get to save up to live in the big ol' city, and start my lovely job. I get to smile at beards and take long walks with glasses, that should be interesting as well. I still don't feel the slightest bit like a grown up. More kid like than a kid. bizarre. Also, I might get to take fun trips to see special people (I never thought Ohio would be calling my name). Fun.
and swimming and reading and napping and playing with friends.
Tonight felt old and good, day one, thrift stores estate sales and playing guitar around a bonfire mmmm my summer is here
The semester ended in a funny way, but the summer started out like a long lost friend. I had thousands of things to say to thousands of people, but I was tired of talking and even more tired of thinking. I was weary of smiling at people when I wasn't happy. Assuring everyone I would be fine in everyway. Now I don't have to put up any fronts. True here, I don't smile as much as I did, but when I do it's not a lie. I'm still decompressing from a year of living life in a huge way. I need a little rest before I start living crazy again in the big ol' city!
I finally just did my federal taxes, ha ha always a procrastinator. Oh well. My head hurts from not drinking eight cups of coffee a day. Somehow it feels less healthy to not down the dark liquid. Hopefully I will be a good little writer and update regularly. As for that thing, the other, I try my best not to think about it because I want to retain a sense of joy and understanding.
I'll just keep my memories tucked warmly away in the back of my pumping organs, because no one (I mean no one) understands and for once in my life words won't help a damned thing.
p.s. why did Nixon hate the counterculture so much?