Monday, August 27, 2007

Delicate Tissue

Well I would like to take this space and time to write about my ridiculously lovely weekend away, but instead because of some asshole I am compelled to write about how it's never ever okay to abuse your significant other. Here's the unfortunately very true scenario:

Late Sunday night on the Chicago brown line a man and woman quietly boarded my car from another.

Woman: Well if we would have listened to me and got on the red line we wouldn't be going in circles.

thirty seconds of silence


Woman: Why did you do that?

Man: Shut-up.

Me: (hopping out of my seat, near hysteric, and very surprised) Are you kidding me? What the fuck are you doing? (to the woman) Are you okay?

the man then puts his arm in front of the lady like he's protecting her ... from me.

Man: She's fine.

Me: I asked her, not you. Are you okay?

Woman: (through streaming tears, a broken lip, and an already bruising cheek) I-I'm okay.

At the next stop they stood beside me at the door waiting for them to open. As she walked off she looked at me. All I could think to say was, you're better than that. After they got off the only other person in the car asked me what happend. I was like, "That guy punched his wife in the face!" Then I lost it, I started bawling uncontrollably for the rest of the ride, the whole mile walk home, and into my sleep. I was shaking and couldn't calm myself down. All of my friends were asleep and I just needed someone to tell me that they wouldn't know what to do either.

It was one of the worst things I've seen in my life. If that man thought it was okay to do that in public on a train with other people on it, I don't know how he treats her at home when no one else is around. I suppose I wanted to take this time to share this, because I can barely believe it happend. I felt so helpless.

Now, in general I'm pretty much a pacifist. Resorting to violence seems ignorant and reckless to me, but I understand in some very dire situations it is necessary, but for gosh sakes it is certainly not appropriate or tolerable within the framework of the concept of relationship. It goes both ways too, man or woman it's just not okay. I wanted to grab that woman and say aren't you more scared of this man than being alone? But that's almost never true.

I wish there was some lesson in this post, but I don't have anything. Don't hit the people who care about you, because it sucks a lot. Do you want someone loving you who doesn't respect themselves? Do you want to love someone who doesn't respect you? Abusive relationships are just ugly through and through. I'm sorry for any man or woman that has felt helpless because of someone they thought they cared about.



Grad School Reject said...

There is a lesson in this post: When you (as in "Last Unicorn," not the universal "you") see something that you deem intolerable you are the type of person that takes action.

Please don't undervalue this quality - I am sure a lot of people will hear this story and think, "Well, if I had seen that I would have done the same thing." But the truth is you don't really know how you will react until you (unfortunately) are in the situation. I'm proud of you.

The Last Unicorn said...

Thank you. Actually if I had heard that story I could never imagine reacting like that ... you really don't have any idea till it happens, though I hope I don't ever have to witness such a thing again!