Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Land Lubber

"There’s something pure and infinite in you, that WANTS to come out of you, and can come out of no other person on the planet. That’s what you’ve got to share, and that’s as real and important as the fact that you’re alive. We were able, at a really young age, to somehow protect each other so we could feel that. The world at large, careerism, money, magazines, your parents, the people at the rock club in your town, other kids, nothing is going to give you that message, necessarily. In fact, most things are going to lead you away from it, sadly, because humanity is really confused at the moment. But you wouldn’t exist if the universe didn’t need you. And any time I encounter something beautiful that came out of a human somewhere, that’s them, that’s their own soul. That’s just pure, whatever its physicality is, if the person can play piano, if they can’t play piano, if they’re tone deaf, whatever it is, if it’s pure, it hits you like a sledgehammer. It fills up your own soul, it makes you want to cry, it makes you glad you’re alive, it lets YOU come out of YOU. And that’s what we need: we desperately need YOU"

- Julian Kostner

I stole this from my roommate's wall of quotations. I needed to read something like this. I've been coming to terms with imperfection. For a long time I was obsessed with the idea of becoming really good at something. I jumped from project to project trying to find the thing that I was naturally good at, or (even worse) better than most people at. That bad habit, only led to frustration and quitting a lot of things.
I felt inadequate.
Lately (through existential crisis and patient conversations) I've realized that it's okay to suck at things. I don't give myself a chance. So from henceforth, I'm okaying with sucking. Just because I'm tone deaf, doesn't mean I shouldn't sing. I don't know, I feel like this is the key to unlocking my personal greatness. Everything is a journey and I need to learn to not be so damn impatient.

I also followed directions on a business card someone gave me about a month ago. I discovered something else I really need, and I don't know why I waited so long. I got caught up in fear. It's debilitating. But now I'm embarking on what appears to be an epic adventure.

(I also went swimming last night, wahooooooo)


CrystalCabinet said...

Hey, dudette. I totally forgot that you had one of these things. I kinda just started one recently and I'm trying to find more people to read mine cus otherwise I'll end up forgetting about it myself. Last day of student teaching was today! Yippee. Things are looking pretty dim as far as making it to your x-mas party goes, but we'll see. It was great catching up with you Chi-town folk and I wanna keep connected in some capacity. Hopefully I'll seeya sometime soon!

Also, in response to your plea for poetry, mayhaps check out some William Blake or Dylan Thomas if you haven't yet... also Robert Browning, I love that guy

The Last Unicorn said...


I miss you more than you can understand and oddly enough, I discovered your blog tonight, but only because I discovered Tim's... Then I came back to mine and discovered this comment!

Ahh well I'm exciting about reading and it's okay about the party, just come and hang out soon we don't need a special event!

P.S. Congrats on graduating!