Last night I was dozing off to the sweet sounds of The Office and this name kept popping into my head randomly. I was familiar with the name, but I couldn't place what the heck it was from. I fell asleep saying it to myself. It was really fucking weird. Not to mention slightly annoying because I couldn't put a face or location to this name.
This afternoon I went outside to catch some rays and grabbed a book I started and then put down a couple of weeks ago. Lo and behold the name appears. For some reason I was shocked to see this name my lips couldn't help but speak printed on the page. The character was introduced some ten pages back before I put down the book weeks ago. It makes sense that my mind would recall it, but why did it push through my subconscious and bully my conscious mind into invoking it with breath?
I'm still baffled by it. I mean, if your mind plays a trick on you it has never played before do you perk up and listen or do you cast it off in nonchalance? I'm never one to underestimate the power of randomness, but this weirds me out. Was it the book or the character or just the name that piqued my subconscious/conscious mind?
Saw old friends and drank just enough Schlitz. Listened to Sam Cooke on the way home with the windows down. The night smells dark and earthy and it makes me feel warm and happy. Drinking plum tea and watching Silence of the lambs in espanol. Going to bed thinking about the infinite void. And sometimes it doesn't terrify me.
What a good and random night. I'm so glad Spring came when it did.
"Orwell warns that we will be overcome by an externally imposed oppression. But in Huxley's vision, no Big Brother is required to deprive people of their autonomy, maturity and history. As he saw it, people will come to love their oppression, to adore the technologies that undo their capacities to think."
It came on so sudden. The smells and the warmth and the wet. I had actually forgotten what real sunshine felt like on my skin. It couldn't have come at a better time, because I was feeling another wave of melancholy start to creep in, but I effectively fought it off with a broom and a bicycle.
Yes, spring is here. Well technically it's not here until March 20th BUT I'm officially shooing winter out my back door and gingerly inviting Spring in for an extended stay.
I want to try sewing my own undies.
I also want all the snow to melt and for things to get green and growy.
I also want to go to Cici's Pizza Buffet with lover boy and eat crappy pizza till my belly hurts.
The moment that we conceived a Western notion of time and made it an integral part of our existence is the true moment man broke with nature.
How inconsolably sad.
I understand that to a certain extent without measurable time science wouldn't be where it is today, but really what part does Science play in my daily life whereas it didn't force itself upon me by its earlier advents fucking things up?
Humans are obsessed with precision, or rather precision brings us control which is our true obsession.
Is it mine? Am I obsessed. with. control?
I mean at first glance, of course not, I'm never on time, I'm a slave to the seasons, I hate being on other people's schedule, I REALLY hate being rushed and being given time restrictions, BUT...
There is always a butt. What if all my daily routines disappeared, what would happen to my psyche? Would I struggle to gain control of my day? Would I quickly reestablish a routine? Would I flourish? Would I be freeeeee?
But wait. I subscribe to the humans as glorified (we do the glorifying) animals and animals abide by cycles. So, following a schedule is natural. Without a sleep eat cycle, we would die. The very physiology of our bodies are cyclical. The concept of time as we imagine it exists in all of our heads because someone gave it to us. Mechanical time v. Natural time. Well, I do believe I'd pick natural each and everytime.
I don't know where I'm going with this entry, it was prompted by a radio show I threw on for background noise, the show was wholly uninteresting until I heard the unsettling of medieval monks chanting. My ears perked up and the radio host talked about how precise time as we know it was borne out of the monks necessity to please a demanding God. I can't cite anything because I can't get a transcript of the show and my lackadaisical internet research didn't turn up much to back up my memory, but as I remember it the monks wanted (or thought that it was required of them) to be more exact in their daily offerings to God so they devised at time system that would allow them the precision. I wish I could find some secondary sources to back me up here. The show is Ideas and the episode is called "Time Kaleidoscope" if anyone finds me a download or podcast of that episode I would be so happy and buy you a coffee or beer. The rest of the episode was pretty awesome too, but that's a whole 'nother entry.
Anyway, time is a crazy notion, but less linear and more circular than I once imagined, which is in a way comforting.
Yo. I had so many starts of posts and big thoughts this week, but instead I'll just give some freckles and fragments cuz it's my blog and not too many people read it anyway and the ones who do probably don't care if I make too much sense.
What is worse for the environment: Eating meat/dairy or using as much "disposable" plastic as the average American uses in a day?
A revelatory thought I had this week that was prompted by a documentary I watched that scared the bejeezus out of me: Both religion and corporations are a top down ordered system. Efficient assuming no one questions the chain of command/deviates from the norm.
Intermission:
Also, Mad Men, watch it and let's discuss. An accurate snapshot of my country circa 1960, so discomforting I'm not sure I can stomach it, we really have come a long way folks and thank goodness for that. I may or may not have put my head (or my husbands) in the oven if I was forced to live like that. Though it makes more sense why rich white men feel so entitled and why they are willing to lie cheat and steal to maintain such a sweet way of life.
Why does adding an asterisk in my search phrase "help"?
RadioLabis my new favorite thing to listen to while doing manual labor. Check out emergence and stochasticity two of my faves. I can't wait to listen to the one on laughter, my favorite thing to do.
Tiger Woods has no one to apologize to except his wife and the harem of women he's been leading around, not the rest of the world.
This is what I've been looking at every night before I fall asleep. Do you know where your cribriform plate is? I could show you.
In summation: Why does broccoli (that is a hard word to spell btw) have to make me so gassy?
So the day came and went where we are supposed to tell the people we love that we love them or show them via chocolates and hearts.
I don't know, sometimes I love the idea of Valentine's day and sometimes I think it's the ol' silly Hallmark capitalist hoy paloy.
Well godamnit this year I had one of the best Valentine's day in a very longtime. Sure I've had more romantic, and more fun (cause they weren't romantic at all), but this year included all the things that I think are really important about the day when one chooses to celebrate it.
S. and I slept in late, cuddled, ate too much good food, napped, talked, movie watched, cuddled and fell asleep. We entertain each other.
I mean besides waking up from an accidental three hour midday nap in a state of complete crab, I couldn't stop thinking about how much I enjoy just hanging out with him. The fact that we can go from serious political talk to cakefarts in the same conversation makes me really appreciate our relationship.
It also doesn't hurt that S. sewed me an awesome shirt for a Valentine, which is of course, way cooler than chocolates and flowers in my opinion!
