Hell yeah I support Nuclear Energy

I said it, it's clean efficient and a lot safer than you think. I also dig genetically modified crops. Have you guys tried super oranges (extra fiber and vitamin c)? Higher yield? C'mon? Wednesdays are my "power days." Senior seminar and ag class make me want to join the environmental ss. Either that or completely give up, because traditionalist, fundamentalist, right wingers are our oppinion leaders and legislators.

oh. I'm in a better mood today than I have been, well since this weekend. I heard lightning today and it got me all giddy about warm weather rain and spring. I hate getting into my tyrannical moods, but it feels oh so good when they break! I also finished a poem I'm really excited about. I feel a little more comfortable with the poetic machine. I thought about posting it on the new 347 blog, but I really think that the whole tone of that blog/class is kind of weird.

Reminder: March 3 or 6 is Sammy's birthday. March 20 is big sister's birthday (the big 30).

I'm terrible at remembering anything worth noting. Eech. So next week I will be almost completely indisposed with bull-shit projects that professors decided to dump on me right before spring break. Oh well. Spring break hurrah!

GRE word of the day:
solipsism: noun
a theory holding that the self can know nothing but its own modifications and that the self is the only existent thing; also : extreme egocentrism

Double Dose of Happy

Today, I feel like I want to be back in Korea. Badly.
Small children selling booze,

Sweet d.i.y. punk culture,

"Love Motels"

Gorgeous Temples,

Precious asian boys,



Okay that was my first and last photo blog. Damnit this weather needs to get better, and I need to stop worrying about everything so much. Worrying causes gout!

GRE word of the day:
Fusillade -
long burst of gunfire. (I promise I will never use that word in a sentence in my entire life)

Apprize - transitive verb
to value or appreciate

Writer with a capital W

This weekend was long, inspiring, nauseous, enlightening, disheartening, etc.
The drugs left me very tired and uncomfortably cramped. A small wager to pay for what could have been, and what pray tell have I ignited?
I can't go back, and I can't say that I'd want to, but can one understand the weight of their decision without a timely retrospective? For now I'll be giddy like a school girl and think heavy opaque later.

Went to IWU's Tongue & Ink undergrad writing conference with a wonderful friend.
It was a cold adventure.
I was exposed to some amazing poetry and creative energy. Conflicting though (but what knowledge isn’t?). One session touted the benefits of the MFA program and another touted the benefits of running as far away from the academy as creatively possible. What path then will I chose? Who the hell knows! I was moved more often than rendered bored, so I call that a success.

Kent Johnson, the keynote speaker for Saturday read an excerpt of The Night by Jaime Saenz. The man read this poem with an ethereal passion and a perfect Spanish accent (mind you he is quite academic anglo in appearance). All of a sudden Spanish, the language of my father, reels me in and knocks me over. It’s beauty and history and family all rolled into an exotic ball. Another call to brush up on my language skills.

Johnson also read a harrowing original poem about the ills of Abu Ghraib and the “war on terror.” You can read Lyric Poetry After Auschwitz, or: "Get the Hood Back On" here, but you won’t get the full effect of Kent’s fantastic (and spine tingling) voice. . This man is quite talented.

This weekend led me back to the question I constantly find myself pondering: Beyond entertainment, what is the validity of literature, poetry, et al? More specifically or rather a sub-question, is literature dead?
In today’s blog I summon the words of Syrian expatriate poet Adonis:

To save itself, poetry will need to progressively espouse the unknown eternal truths and refuse again and again to be regimented from the outside by any kind of ideology, system, or institution....[P]oetry will have to advance by exploring regions the invader cannot reach....[T]he traditional view of the poem cannot survive, it will have to be transformed in its very structure. Just as the traditional concept of poetry has already broadened to exceed the limits of traditional forms of speech, so, in order to resist the utilitarian goals which nearly strangled it this century, in order to escape ideology, the structure of poetic language will have to open itself to more movement, and move always toward a concept of the total poem.

With that stated Adonis brings up many points which force me to question my roles in consuming and creating poetry. How can I create a body of work that is relevant, meaningful, and progressive? I have a long (long long) way to go, but without the assurance and motivation I would never even start my journey. Or would I?

I’ve begun to take on the obscene task of preparation of the GREs so from now own this blog will include … a word of the day. Ew. Any tips on cracking the GRE?

For good measure, and to set a steady pattern we will start with two words! Lucky you!

garrulous: Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin garrulus, from garrire to chatter -- more at CARE
1 : given to prosy, rambling, or tedious loquacity : pointlessly or annoyingly talkative
2 : WORDY 1
synonym see TALKATIVE

heteronym:
Function: noun
: one of two or more homographs (as a bass voice and bass, a fish) that differ in pronunciation and meaning

P.S. I totally shouldn’t have had to look up heteronym!

Why are these glorious men no longer making music?

Plan "B"

The caprices of liquor sure have a way of expediting ... "things."

Today

I did a lot less work than I should have. Still haven't put my laundry away
,but I did nap in the sun like a kitten ... for three hours.
I sort of miss my phone. Really miss my best friends.
Wrote a little today, but it made me feel ugly.
I Just bid on two low-mesh silk screens.

I hope I win, at life and the auction.

xo

ADDENDUM:
I was outbid, in the last ten seconds. lkajds ;fads. damn. Now I'm going to try and put away laundry before I have to work till 2 am :( This has got to be karma. At least a good song just came on my iTunes...

Apocolyptic Notions

All of a sudden I'm feeling quite protective of the things I currently hold most dear. Protectiveness for the Last Unicorn comes in the form of insecurity. Rather than grasp I let go. Or (let's be honest) doubt my grasp, because I too have trouble letting go. I examine (because that's what I'm good at) why; a bleary conclusion points a cold and dry finger at the impending sense of doom that has recently pervaded my conciousness.

And I will always equate the changing of seasons with you
that man-child disappeared from my life. forever for good?
and how does she feel about that? (she being me)
A) like a glass menagerie
relieved, but fragile as such.

and with that I feel like I'm not learning anything that makes me think hard.
(just hardly, enough to send shivers, but best friend says you're not a pessismist)
I'm not. No, I see my cup full (maybe because I stole your's half empty).

I don't even need to practice primal rhythms with him*

It's hard to write with colors. I just have winter white said shades. pales and palers still. It's hard to not be blue when you've spent a winter and a year's time wallowing in the shadow of something else.

oh. that's it. something did end. I'm just spooked of all that's begining, because I know it too will probably end. But doesn't everything. I remember someone yelling to me from a pulpit: The Benefits of Life Everlasting. Well I rather like the cycles of death and re-birth. But this one seems extra long, because it was extra harsh. Figuratively, Meteorogically, Literally.

*and will this season be extra opposite of what came before? Seven day forecasts aren't that accurate. I find myself with a hole where you used to be. The damage is done, but my polar ice-caps are left intact (so there).

The spring is still cold. But I'm waking up. Grasping tighter, but not too tight. Reaching out but no too far. The snow is melting. Around my organs and beneath my feet.

Oh bother why must I type-complain
it
is
gonna
be
50
this
weekend.

(remember what I said happens when the mercury hits a farenheit 45? tehee)

THIS BLOG NEEDS MORE HUMOUR...

Fast As You Can

it is rather late and I should be studying for an 8 a.m. test.

but I can't help but wonder if this endeavor is far more narcissistic than I care to admit.
Been having much trouble focusing on writing prose as of late. Grrrr.
It's hard to focus on my priorities when a thousand other pin-pricks are stealing at my skin.

and you know what?
I just hope it feels this good for forever (or at least a good long while). I wanted to tell him that, but instead I just grabbed his hair and fell asleep. I do that.

tight mouthed and thin lipped, but I slumber with fireworks behind my eye lids.

Today I feel this and tomorrow I feel that and I'm right caught between two-thousand one hundred and seventy eight different ways to process my world; how do I know when to smile and when to shout? This is my home, but I don't know how to own it. And I'm not willing to take your help in the matter.

I think I might like your help.

Don't wanna be nar·cis·sis·tic. Synthesis, Catharsis, Practice, Practice, Strive for Perfection, Road map to discovery, Confessional, etc.

any thing but Narcissism.

Have fun

separating truth from fiction.

Damn it all, I had to watch, "An Inconvenient Truth" for my senior seminar class. Terrified me.
For the first time in my life, even though I really want kids, it would be horribly irresponsible of me to bring a life into a thoroughly decaying world. Hmm these discoveries are both disconcerting and elightening.

Overdose*

He said, "Baby the road just ain't what it used to be."

and I grabbed him,

"Honey, nuthin's the way it used to be."


* too many candy hearts.

split

person

alities.

Physical Manifestation of Emotion

I could be all schmoopy but I'll just say sometimes people come along that make you want to jump up on a chair and yell nice things to the people that pass by...


I'm in a really good mood today; Despite losing my phone, a mild cold, and the drifts of snow that are nearly as tall as me. Not because it's Valentine's day or because it's a half snow day, but because I got really great people in my life. Uh huh. Hooray.

Mamda & Papi, thanks for making sweet love and pro-creatin!

Now go hug someone or a tree or maybe your computer, and then go be wild like children.