I felt Power

There was an electricity in the air.  Th e kind mixed with
tenderness and vulnerability.

Stuckbetween what we've done and #Whatweregonnado

Or maybe it was just the wind and the rain
the off beat pulse of your heart to the beat

 -----
(NTS)
Realizing that you truly don't owe anyone shit is exhilarating.
Help others realize this and then give them your hand and pull them up.
That is your life's intention.  Nothing else really matters.


-----
Masculinity in general is really toxic.  What the fuck?  How did we let that happen, as human beings, how did we let 'masculinity' and capitalism run amok?  Historically speaking.

Beginnings of fall
67 degrees F
Precip 40%
Humidity 76%

It me 2018.

Summer Steez

Hiking boots, short shorts, not treating your body like garbage, friends, books, and letting go of shit that's out of your control.

Summah Summah Time

There is fresh snow on the ground and it's a few days into spring, but I can't help but dream about the summer. 

Summer goals:

1) Maybe get a moped

2) Work on my Spanish (for real)

3) Not work too much.

4) Go camping.

Simple woman with simple pleasures.

Untitled

This is really fun.

A Builders Dream

I'm currently experiencing a sort of emotional hangover.  At the moment I feel exhausted and not really useful for anyone, and I'm struggling to maintain an openness toward others.  Though this feeling is isolating and it's not a space I'd like to spend too much time, I'm glad I'm getting better at identifying the triggering factors of this mood. For maybe the first time I find relief knowing that this malaise is transient.

I know that it's okay to need time alone, but the last couple of days I noticed myself falling back into old nasty patterns.  Personal patterns that are fear based and not quite understood.  Being strong for other people seems to be pushing me into a sort of defense state of my own.  Allowing certain people access and putting up blockades to others may feel easier, but it isn't growth minded.

I kicked the cat out of my room so I could get a good nights sleep.  Tiny steps to shaking this hangover and getting back to normal life (whatever that means).  I only feel a little guilty.

Elastic Heart

More Than Language

I felt liberated because I could smoke in a bar, and I wasn't even a smoker.  And we all talked about community.  In that scotch and soda moment, I realized I could get along anywhere.  I could move freely among so many circles.  I was that character in the book he gave me, except I had nothing to hide.

I had nothing to fear.

On this subject or that; Time worth living.

Is this difficult for you?

Extremely.  But I'll deal with it.

::2015::

The Ways We Die
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
They Ways We live


"Above all, greater security is a result of communicating your needs and being responsive to your partners needs. When you can do this effectively, you’ll find yourself less troubled and your relationships more happy and gratifying."

 - I forgot where this came from, but it's pretty legit.

Reconstruction Site

Just because you miss someone really hard, doesn't mean they'll come back. Ever.  So it's a-ok to be bummed.