The establishment doesn't want you either.

I feel relieved. I actually feel more myself than I've felt in months. I'm really confused about this, but I'm not going to complain. Hail to the cabbage king, live fast die young.

Ha Cha Cha

Got 90% of my xmas shopping done online today. Whoop!

Sometimes

When I'm alone, I like to dance like Karen O. Apparently many others do this as well. Yea!

She might be one of my favorite lady rockers. Anyway.

Last night I fell tired early, but stayed up late thinking insane thoughts. I pondered turning the telly back on to fall asleep to Conan instead of my raging brain. The problem is, when I have the tv on my brain tunes into whatever is on, no matter how boring, I will stay up at least one and one half hours later that intended. I'm not such a big fan of the television to pacify anyway, so I turn it off. Unfortunately. unless I'm dead tired, the intended effect is usually worse. I'll end up staying up much later, and usually some tears are shed. So then I tried something I hadn't for a very long time, I prayed. When I was a kid without fail I would fall asleep mid prayer nearly every night.

Being a grown up who believes in science and magic more than god and religion I stopped praying. I'm also a grown up who has seen the scientific reports that prayer helps the brain. It sure helped my brain get to sleep as a kid. For a long time I fought the urge to send off my thoughts of things I couldn't control to the cosmos. I thought it would make me lazy, and less proactive about solving those problems myself.

Now, I know, I know.

I cannot change the behaviors of people, I cannot change when I do or don't get into nursing school, I can't change how much money I have, or whether or not my relationships blah blah blah and all the other things people furrow their brow over on their pillows.

So my brain was afloat last night, and I knew the things I was worrying about weren't even real issues. So, I reverted back to my little ten year old self. The Last Unicorn who knew that no matter what, she couldn't change the things that were bigger than herself; she just had to be the best she could be and send the rest off into the dark. So I was earnest and I went through the list of all the things that made my brain and heart hurt, and I sent them off into the cosmos. I still started off with dear god, but I knew that it meant something different for sort of grown up Last Unicorn than it did for 10 year old Last Unicorn.

My god did I fall asleep. I woke up knowing that it's alright to fuck things up and it's certainly fine to not be able to do it all yourself. Life's going to keep going on and on. A little piece of mind works wonders for the soul/sleep cycles.

Damn.

It is cold out. Brr.

"That's something all Americans can support."

This Monday, Barack Obama signed the 2009 Omnibus Public Land Management Act. The act designates an additional 2 million acres of public wilderness area. According to o'Bama, "This legislation guarantees that we will not take our forests, rivers, oceans ... monuments, and wilderness areas for granted, but rather we will set them aside and guard their sanctity for everyone to share."

Well done. That's really awesome.

Yesterday, I watched the documentary Collapse about how the economic collapse is closely married to environmental collapse, i.e. the collapse of the Western World. It was a tad bit alarmist, but the fact of the matter is economic collapse or naught, we're in trouble environmentally. The movie talked a lot about peak oil, which is pretty darn terrifying. The general idea of "peak oil" is that we've found all the crude oil there is to find so unless we find alternative ways to maintain our modern lifestyles we are in big trouble.

What moved me the most about the film is the way the the protagonist of the film Michael Rupert spoke about Barack Obama. He basically said that he's a great guy that wants to do great things, but is imprisoned by the system. The system being American/world politics. He said something along the lines of we can't put the entire weight of the world on Obama's shoulders. We can't expect one man to magically enact change over everything and everyone. We must take personal responsibility if we want to change things.

Mr. Rupert also said he pees on his grass to increase soil vitality. Ha ha.

Happy Friday people.

RIP Old Cub Ron Santo

84 is a Good Age to Go

Rest in peace, you lovely and humorous man.

Thankfully Yours

I know that Thanksgiving is predicated on a meal that was probably totally fake, and even if it wasn't it was the beginning of a bloody relationship where squatters take advantage of the natives. BUT, I really dig the spirit of pausing for thanks, which is what I hope modern America attaches to Thanksgiving and let the turkeys and the cornucopias fall away. With that said:

I'm thankful, for my dysfunctional family.
My close and best friends, the ones that put up with all my demands and antics. I hope it's worth it for you guys.
My boyfriend, see the above reasoning. Also, because he makes me laugh without fail.
The dentist who told me I don't need my wisdom teeth out.
People who want to make the world a safer, sustainable, more beautiful and awesome place that don't have to.
My car. (please don't die on me)
The internetz.
My boss who supports me in most every single thing I want to do.

AH, I was just identifying with the wrong demographic!

So in an effort to punch through my funk - o - rama I:

Started painting, art deco style. Now my new coat is covered in blue and gold paint, and I'm happy about it.

Took out a giant stack of recreational reading books (Chronicle of a Death Foretold, Death of a Salesman, Design in the Sustainable Era, Spanish the Fast and Fun Way, Of Love and Other Demons, and You Can't Catch Death, in case you were wondering) at the sweet quiet library.

Went to my neglected yoga class.

Pondered what the sensation of being in the roller derby might feel like.

Started researching Georgia Sea Kayak. :)

Then I imagined what it felt like to be somewhere that made me really really happy.

Then I danced, because I hadn't done it in a great while, without being a lil' tipsy (or more).

And now I have a sort of blue print that I need to hang onto.

Oi

I cried at the VFW hall ... I guess I should cross alcoholic off my list of future life style options. I don't think I'd have too many drinking buddies. I'll probably laugh at this in about a week, but for now I'm just wondering why my head's been so terrible lately.

Hopefully it's an oncoming existential crisis and not the famous Perez women's curse of moodiness and malaise coming to finally claim me. Either way, I won't go easy.

Also, The Fantastic Mr. Fox, is awesome.

If it's broke, maybe you should consider getting a new one?

After election day last week I wrote up this big long blog about the politics of voting, the importance of voting, and how bad I feel for well meaning Obama. But it has just sat in my drafts folder sort of staring me down. I think it's probably a little too late, but my mind fell back onto it when I read an article on wbez.org about two influential Chicago alderman enacting a $1 taxi surcharge.

Finance Committee Chair Ed Burke's reasoning are as follows, "These are mainly used by visitors to Chicago, business people who're on expense accounts and it isn't a big amount," Burke said. "A $1 surcharge isn't going to hurt anybody, in my opinion." Ugh, when concerned Taxi driver George Lutfallah voiced his concern that the surcharge may discourage people from taking taxis for shorter trips Burke says, "Good." "That'll be good for people's exercise ... They'll get more exercise walking."

You know who takes taxis a lot in the city? City dwellers with children, elderly people, drunk people who are responsible enough not to take out their keys. You know who else takes taxis? Regular people (without expense accounts) that live in the city that don't want to clog the streets with more traffic and have a need to get somewhere quickly. I'm so sick of arrogant policy makers that are out of touch with their constituency.

Good? If I was a part of the taxi assn. I would be furious that this guy is so disregarding of my profession. I could care less about taxis really because they creep me out, are already too expensive, and I'd usually rather walk, but for him to approach another surcharge (on top of last year's fuel surcharge) in such a flagrant way really pisses me off. Politicians are mostly a terrible lot that make decisions based on how they myopically perceive the world.

Remember when my blog was light and airy? I sort of miss that. Remember when I was more light and airy? I sort of miss that too. I need to worry worry less, which probably involves a lot of things. I need some c-c-ch-changes. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but I've been sort of frustrated about everything lately. Blargh. I do not like that, no not at all.

Oh yeah, here's that article: Chicago alderman seek dollar surcharge on cab rides, ya'll.