POWER TOOOOOLS

I'm almost done with my huge chest makeover and I'm so excited about it! I might even post a photo on this here blog. In all my years of blogging on this url, I've never ever posted a personal picture. Crazy.

I just can't contain my project excitement, for Christmas I received not one but two power tools (three if you count the double gift), and I'm raring to try them out.

EDIT: Now I have a circular saw and my very own tape measure too :)

Yes!

I like when problem solving ends in hand-washing.

Holy moly unicornlets, it's almost 2011! Almost a decade has gone by since 1999. I feel like I should do some sort of retrospective or something, but I'm really tired. The month of December took a lot out of me, and I'm just excited to move forward.

I'll get back to you on my resolutions.

The establishment doesn't want you either.

I feel relieved. I actually feel more myself than I've felt in months. I'm really confused about this, but I'm not going to complain. Hail to the cabbage king, live fast die young.

Ha Cha Cha

Got 90% of my xmas shopping done online today. Whoop!

Sometimes

When I'm alone, I like to dance like Karen O. Apparently many others do this as well. Yea!

She might be one of my favorite lady rockers. Anyway.

Last night I fell tired early, but stayed up late thinking insane thoughts. I pondered turning the telly back on to fall asleep to Conan instead of my raging brain. The problem is, when I have the tv on my brain tunes into whatever is on, no matter how boring, I will stay up at least one and one half hours later that intended. I'm not such a big fan of the television to pacify anyway, so I turn it off. Unfortunately. unless I'm dead tired, the intended effect is usually worse. I'll end up staying up much later, and usually some tears are shed. So then I tried something I hadn't for a very long time, I prayed. When I was a kid without fail I would fall asleep mid prayer nearly every night.

Being a grown up who believes in science and magic more than god and religion I stopped praying. I'm also a grown up who has seen the scientific reports that prayer helps the brain. It sure helped my brain get to sleep as a kid. For a long time I fought the urge to send off my thoughts of things I couldn't control to the cosmos. I thought it would make me lazy, and less proactive about solving those problems myself.

Now, I know, I know.

I cannot change the behaviors of people, I cannot change when I do or don't get into nursing school, I can't change how much money I have, or whether or not my relationships blah blah blah and all the other things people furrow their brow over on their pillows.

So my brain was afloat last night, and I knew the things I was worrying about weren't even real issues. So, I reverted back to my little ten year old self. The Last Unicorn who knew that no matter what, she couldn't change the things that were bigger than herself; she just had to be the best she could be and send the rest off into the dark. So I was earnest and I went through the list of all the things that made my brain and heart hurt, and I sent them off into the cosmos. I still started off with dear god, but I knew that it meant something different for sort of grown up Last Unicorn than it did for 10 year old Last Unicorn.

My god did I fall asleep. I woke up knowing that it's alright to fuck things up and it's certainly fine to not be able to do it all yourself. Life's going to keep going on and on. A little piece of mind works wonders for the soul/sleep cycles.

Damn.

It is cold out. Brr.

"That's something all Americans can support."

This Monday, Barack Obama signed the 2009 Omnibus Public Land Management Act. The act designates an additional 2 million acres of public wilderness area. According to o'Bama, "This legislation guarantees that we will not take our forests, rivers, oceans ... monuments, and wilderness areas for granted, but rather we will set them aside and guard their sanctity for everyone to share."

Well done. That's really awesome.

Yesterday, I watched the documentary Collapse about how the economic collapse is closely married to environmental collapse, i.e. the collapse of the Western World. It was a tad bit alarmist, but the fact of the matter is economic collapse or naught, we're in trouble environmentally. The movie talked a lot about peak oil, which is pretty darn terrifying. The general idea of "peak oil" is that we've found all the crude oil there is to find so unless we find alternative ways to maintain our modern lifestyles we are in big trouble.

What moved me the most about the film is the way the the protagonist of the film Michael Rupert spoke about Barack Obama. He basically said that he's a great guy that wants to do great things, but is imprisoned by the system. The system being American/world politics. He said something along the lines of we can't put the entire weight of the world on Obama's shoulders. We can't expect one man to magically enact change over everything and everyone. We must take personal responsibility if we want to change things.

Mr. Rupert also said he pees on his grass to increase soil vitality. Ha ha.

Happy Friday people.

RIP Old Cub Ron Santo

84 is a Good Age to Go

Rest in peace, you lovely and humorous man.

Thankfully Yours

I know that Thanksgiving is predicated on a meal that was probably totally fake, and even if it wasn't it was the beginning of a bloody relationship where squatters take advantage of the natives. BUT, I really dig the spirit of pausing for thanks, which is what I hope modern America attaches to Thanksgiving and let the turkeys and the cornucopias fall away. With that said:

I'm thankful, for my dysfunctional family.
My close and best friends, the ones that put up with all my demands and antics. I hope it's worth it for you guys.
My boyfriend, see the above reasoning. Also, because he makes me laugh without fail.
The dentist who told me I don't need my wisdom teeth out.
People who want to make the world a safer, sustainable, more beautiful and awesome place that don't have to.
My car. (please don't die on me)
The internetz.
My boss who supports me in most every single thing I want to do.

AH, I was just identifying with the wrong demographic!

So in an effort to punch through my funk - o - rama I:

Started painting, art deco style. Now my new coat is covered in blue and gold paint, and I'm happy about it.

Took out a giant stack of recreational reading books (Chronicle of a Death Foretold, Death of a Salesman, Design in the Sustainable Era, Spanish the Fast and Fun Way, Of Love and Other Demons, and You Can't Catch Death, in case you were wondering) at the sweet quiet library.

Went to my neglected yoga class.

Pondered what the sensation of being in the roller derby might feel like.

Started researching Georgia Sea Kayak. :)

Then I imagined what it felt like to be somewhere that made me really really happy.

Then I danced, because I hadn't done it in a great while, without being a lil' tipsy (or more).

And now I have a sort of blue print that I need to hang onto.

Oi

I cried at the VFW hall ... I guess I should cross alcoholic off my list of future life style options. I don't think I'd have too many drinking buddies. I'll probably laugh at this in about a week, but for now I'm just wondering why my head's been so terrible lately.

Hopefully it's an oncoming existential crisis and not the famous Perez women's curse of moodiness and malaise coming to finally claim me. Either way, I won't go easy.

Also, The Fantastic Mr. Fox, is awesome.

If it's broke, maybe you should consider getting a new one?

After election day last week I wrote up this big long blog about the politics of voting, the importance of voting, and how bad I feel for well meaning Obama. But it has just sat in my drafts folder sort of staring me down. I think it's probably a little too late, but my mind fell back onto it when I read an article on wbez.org about two influential Chicago alderman enacting a $1 taxi surcharge.

Finance Committee Chair Ed Burke's reasoning are as follows, "These are mainly used by visitors to Chicago, business people who're on expense accounts and it isn't a big amount," Burke said. "A $1 surcharge isn't going to hurt anybody, in my opinion." Ugh, when concerned Taxi driver George Lutfallah voiced his concern that the surcharge may discourage people from taking taxis for shorter trips Burke says, "Good." "That'll be good for people's exercise ... They'll get more exercise walking."

You know who takes taxis a lot in the city? City dwellers with children, elderly people, drunk people who are responsible enough not to take out their keys. You know who else takes taxis? Regular people (without expense accounts) that live in the city that don't want to clog the streets with more traffic and have a need to get somewhere quickly. I'm so sick of arrogant policy makers that are out of touch with their constituency.

Good? If I was a part of the taxi assn. I would be furious that this guy is so disregarding of my profession. I could care less about taxis really because they creep me out, are already too expensive, and I'd usually rather walk, but for him to approach another surcharge (on top of last year's fuel surcharge) in such a flagrant way really pisses me off. Politicians are mostly a terrible lot that make decisions based on how they myopically perceive the world.

Remember when my blog was light and airy? I sort of miss that. Remember when I was more light and airy? I sort of miss that too. I need to worry worry less, which probably involves a lot of things. I need some c-c-ch-changes. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but I've been sort of frustrated about everything lately. Blargh. I do not like that, no not at all.

Oh yeah, here's that article: Chicago alderman seek dollar surcharge on cab rides, ya'll.

Misty Eyed Dad Love

It is both stressful and comforting to have someone love you unconditionally. Up until recently, I never really understood the concept of making someone proud. Blargh, don't do anything for anyone else do it for you! Ima headstrong female!

Getting a little older and a little wiser (or something) I am slowly beginning to understand the importance of making your own life better to justify the hard work of someone else's life. I have a sincere motivation to make my dad proud of this loud know-it-all rebel type that he created.

I want him to know that all he's sacrificed to be a good father is paying off. I just want to make him happy. And therein lies one of the many facets of love that make it one of the coolest things in the entire world. I want to be a better person not only to my dad, but in all my relationships and in the space I occupy in the world because he was good to me.

Sigh. I needed to send that bit off into the world since despite his unconditional love, I'm only beginning to climb the mountain of becoming the woman that I feel is deserving of the devotion and sacrifice of such a kind soul.

Free Education

MIT offers over 2000 full courses online through their Open CourseWare program. Education for all, well, everyone that has access to an internet connection. It's a start and a really amazing site. Check it out and spread the word. Gender studies course here I come!

MIT Open CourseWare.

Come and Gone

It's going to get cold soon.

Have a Ghoulishly Good Weekend Kids!

Be safe.javascript:void(0)

Skeleton's Are a Few of My Favorite Things

And this gem goes out to my lovely boyfriend who isn't having the best October, my body is a zombie for you!


(November is going to be better)

It's Almost Halloweiner

I just tried out my zombie cher makeup and it makes me sort of uncomfortable, which is pretty cool.

Also, a bunch of my friends made some funny, vote it up or down, ya'll!

Schmear - watch more funny videos

Shia Lebouf, who is this guy?

Susan B. Anthony Always Out Doing Stuff

And then there's Maude. Thanks T. this song is going to be stuck in my head for weeks.

Oh Heyy

October, where you going so fast? I'm having a good time.

Also, this lady is fast becoming one of my faves...

STOP SOCIALISM

For some reason there was a link above my email that said read: Stop Socialism. I was curious to know how I could stop socialism so I clicked.

Take Your Country Back!
The Democrats on Capitol Hill are out of control, spending our country into bankruptcy and threatening the foundations of our freedom and prosperity. They have to be stopped, and only you can stop them. You can stop them by voting them out of office and replacing them with elected officials who will work for you. You can stop them by donating to the Republican National Committee. We are ready to take back this country with you, and your contribution will help us take critical steps toward accomplishing this goal. You can help us send a Republican majority back to Washington by taking action today.

Can you feel me rolling my eyes? Register to vote (NOW) and do a little research (VOTE IN NOV.). It's all pretty hopeless, but it can get a whole lot worse ya'll. Crazy lint lickers.

ONLY YOU CAN STOP THEM!!!!!!!!!!

Consumer vs Producer

An interesting man once said, "Whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it."



I want to help people get healthy and make cool things out of other things. The Last Unicorn, trying to stay honest since 1984.

The Pew

Today on the view they were talking about evolution and Joy Behar said people who don't believe in evolution are Neanderthals and Sheri (who is a straight creationist) didn't even take note until Barbara Walters said, "She's calling YOU a Neanderthal." Barbara was laughing. Then Whoopi said you can have your own opinions you just can't have your own facts. Booyah. I like to hear people talk openly about this on daytime television.
This song has been stuck on my head for like two days. This video is just so funky weird. Dig it.

Also, Katy Perry's Sesame Street scandal.

Apparently the parents of America (let's be honest the Moms) didn't like their precious chitlins to be exposed to.... some cleavage? Are you kidding me? Half of the kids watching this are probably still breastfeeding. In the end due to complaints Sesame Street pulled the very vanilla clip. Shame on you Sesame Street. So we invited you on this show, probably picked out your costume, and rewrote your song, oh yeah, we forgot, you have bewbs, just kidding we don't actually want this to air.

Herodotus' First Law

What function does vengeance serve? Fear of it, dread in the face of its inescapability, should be enough to stop anyone from committing a dishonorable act that is damaging to another. It should function as a brake, a restraining voice of reason. If, however, it turns out to be an ineffectual deterrent, and someone commits an offense, the perpetrator will be seen to have set into motion a chain of retribution that can stretch for generations, for centuries even.

There is a kind of dreary fatalism in the mechanism of revenge. Something irreversible and inevitable. Misfortune befalls you and you cannot fathom why.

- Ryszard Kapuscinski

I like this dreary concept far more than the idiocy of the concept of "respect" and farther still than rigid rules we are forced to abide by (my bane, Traffic Laws!). If only we could self police. The golden rule taken completely out of a biblical concept is hands down the best idea that has come out of an ancient text. The ethic of reciprocity in all its forms seems like a great way to conduct one's self.

Longer Lost Rivals

I've also been pondering the idea of borders lately, in all concepts of the word.

They are made for crossing.

Moms have been asking about my brand new tattoo in very incredulous ways. It makes me happy. It reminds us all that I'm not one of them, maybe someday, but then I'll still be the mom with the sweet tat.

(I'm totally avoiding reading about how my blood pumps through my heart, can you tell?)

The Astronaut's Birthday

Sometimes (at least six times a year) I seriously think about the question of art. What constitutes it? Why make it? Who is it really for? Do I consider myself an artist? Can a world exist without it? Etc. etc. It is indeed always a question that needs an attempt at answering. But in pondering that question it has recently brought up the bigger question of why do anything?

And not in a nihilistic way, but from a survival stand point.

I mean deep down do we really have a choice to do a lot of things? Can you lump art in with that most everything else we don't have a choice about? Yes for some and no for some?

Of course that question brings up a million other questions that will be answered in a million different ways by a million different people.

What I'm saying is, have you sat back and thought about what the important things in your life do for you and vice versa? Actually I don't know what I'm saying.

The Pains of Being Pure

My hands are so full of weird little aches and pains in places they don't normally ache or pain. This is good, no? I've been hammering and sawing my way into the fall. I've almost finished my piano bench. We have come a long way together. I like this furniture reclaiming business, it makes me a perfectionist. There are few things I even care to do half-ass, so this must mean something. The relationship between my hands/mood to whatever is laid out in front of me is exciting.

But, if I keep up with this I should probably invest in a power tool or two.

It's getting chilly and busy. I like these things. Where did summer go? I felt like I was in a time warp all summer. The days both dragged on and flew by. I don't know how I feel about this summer, but maybe because it's a constant comparison to the backdrop of last summer. I should stop that. Oh well. September is shaping up real nice. I had pumpkin pancakes the other day and oh boy, were they freakin delicious.

Geesh.

This week can't be over quick enough. If I ever have kids their summers will be so jam packed with awesome activities that I won't have a chance to regret making them. Ughhhhh.

WTHF

And then a weekend of loveliness. Whooop.

A Man Named Pearl

Today I went to the Morton Arboretum. Gosh I love trees. In addition to miles and miles of trees, plants, and lakeage they have an awesome library that has books over 500 years old! Anyway they have an exhibit right now called Flora! Illuminated (I know, terrible name) buuut, I'm a sucker for old plant and vegetable prints. So, I went to the website to check out some of the prints and discovered this lovely gem:

I know. I am a cheese for overcoming adversity stories. I won't lie, I have a crush on Pearl and his story makes me feel really warm inside. Especially this quotation:

“Gardening books will tell you that some of these things in my garden can’t be done, but I had never read them when I got started. Not knowing ahead of time that something is supposed to be impossible often makes it possible to achieve. I didn’t have any limitations because I really didn’t know anything about horticulture. I just figured I could do whatever I wanted with any plant I had.”

I'm glad people like this exist in the world.

Neo New Wave

Paul Mitchel is the brilliant mind behind Patron. Hair and tequila, ew. Actually, I want to go to Beauty Bar sometime ha ha. School doesn't start (for the boys) for another two weeks. I'm not sure I'm going to make it. Today I hauled another piece of wood from the side of the road. It's big. I really am slowly populating an apartment I may never inhabit. How can the month of August be moving so fast and so slow? I guess it doesn't matter. I think I've been watching too much television lately. My. Brain. Feels. Weird.

Anglo Saxon Disease! Get Vaccinated!

This is one of the smartest ways I've ever seen sharpies used in my entire life.

Xposted from Social Design Notes. The others are great too! Watch them here.

I also have a desk now, so I'd like to think that my output will be far greater than in the past months. I mean I'm writing now aren't I? Speaking of writing, a few call to words:

Constraint: 100 words about sex that don't include words about sex!

Also, my old friend Edwin is putting out a Journal of short prose poems called Drupe Fruits. Email me for extended details, but this is the jist, open to all creative souls:

"This is a call for short prose poems of no more than 175 words to appear in a journal entitled “drupe fruits”. feel free to play around within the paragraph medium, indent or don’t, break paragraphs conventionally or unconventionally, you know... do your thing.

The appeal to the form comes from its narrative possibility coupled with its poetic thrift and attention, its acknowledgement of the paragraph as self-fullfilling and innately distilled, and for an acknowledgment of the natural cadence and musicality of language without line breaks, and blank space common of poetic work.

Please send 1-5 pieces to plumperries@gmail.com, along with a very short and lively bio of no more than two sentences. submissions due by sept. 15th, 2010 for issue #1."

Do it, you won't?

KSJ, doesn't my new template remind you of My Life Without Me? That's why I chose it. <3

Why do you pray on your knees?

Learning the difference between ego and egotistical, selfish and self interest. Wading through the summer with an eye for error. Argh.

In other news, I'm free from the shackles of Microbiology!!!! Got out alive and with a B to boot! Something should happen now right?

The Man With the Golden Arm

I should be studying but I only get a few quick seconds to myself lately and I'm devoting today's to listening to music and writing. Maybe, I'll even dream a little. I need a little adventure. All of a sudden everything got straight and narrow.

I think the straight and narrow stifles my bowels. I think that I'm most regular when my schedule is irregular. Mass suicide of the schedule. Maybe I'll exchange my cello for a trumpet, so I can be more reckless and less careful. I heard the less careful you have to be the more jovial your sleep. But I think the bow does something else for my soul. Who knows.

Who knows. Quick, I only have 30 min. left.

I'm making it my bidness to find my moment of pure summer bliss. Everyone gets at least one. Well alright I can think of one or two, but I think they were technically in spring.

BlissBlissBliss.

Rock City

I like this woman a lot.

Adult Hoods

Healthcare, it's as though you don't even want me to purchase you.

America the Loud

Why is it so taboo for girls to talk about masturbating? I mean even girls don't really talk to girls about masturbating.

Ahem, I mean ladies.

Cock Click Bang

Earlier this week the supreme court ruled that American's have the right to have a hand gun in their home on grounds of personal self defense.

I'm extremely liberal so I think that I'm supposed to be against NRA and all about strict gun laws but to be very honest I'm not all about any kinds of laws. I think I have to agree with the old adage, if they take the guns away from us then the only ones that will have them will be the crooks and the police. Since I've been converted to the camp that thinks cops are just as naughty as the bank robbers, well -- you can see how I think the supreme court may have gotten it right this time.

Of course it never works out that easy, as the city of Chicago is waiting out the change until a federal appeals court turns over Chicago's current handgun ban. Meanwhile DA Mary Georges is drafting strict ordinances to police the new ruling, including strict ownership requirements and even stricter penalties.

I'm excited to watch what this Supreme Court does in the next ten years especially since the inclusion of Elena Kagan.

Would I own a handgun in my home? Just like my stance on abortion, probably not for me, but then again that's just me, and I don't want to make decisions for others based on my lifestyle or ideals. If you own a handgun in your home for gosh sakes be careful if you own sexual reproduction organs, for gosh sakes be careful! It's all about education and personal responsibility.

Black Fly Don't Bother Me

I want to hike the AT trail next summer, who's with me?

No Big Deal

14th Baby. What up Italy?

Sleepover City

I had a really great week. Hello summer.

<3

Jaywalking is a Very Serious Crime

Seattle police apparently think it's okay to hit teenage girls. That'll learn them not to jaywalk. Ew. I probably would have been freaking out too.

In other news, goddamn I love my boyfriend.

One Week Down Seven to Go

Flash Flood Rain.

World Cup.

US v England, Montrose Park?

Sore and lonely cello fingers.

A book I just finished:

"They're all very clever if they want something. They just know the nature of things too well to be caught in that wanting."

"Where men hungering for love destroy everything lovable about them."

Go Weekend.

Schmiling

Life is weird. The notion of identity is very consuming. Will the answer, who am I?, ever be successfully answered? Or do I even want it to be? Because once you know, you're sort of stuck in it eh? I guess these thoughts are indicative of where I'm at in this weird time space continuum called life.

Today I feel like I'm in an identity Limbo, which is way less fun than the kind of limbo where you find out the age old question: How low can you go?

edit: I just noticed that my last two posts have skeletons in them, and that makes me feel good.

Half Dead

But mostly alive. Thank goodness it's Friday. Thank goodness it's Summer.

Four Day Weekend.

This picture is absolutely gnarly, you can find the artist here.

In tense, In tents, Intense?

I'm really sick of Subway's 5 dollar foot long sub ads. We get it, your subs are five bucks. Damn.

Craving a really dirty wild party where I get silly and end up sleeping in weird places and waking up with a hoarse voice from smoking too many cigarettes. I guess I just need to celebrate.

I also think the mtv credit card is the worst idea since the financial bailout.

I

look forward to the day I find a good reason to edit a Wikipedia entry.

May 9

Being a mom is probably the hardest job in the world.

<3

Rainy Days

And it's funny because this is life.

Born Free

New MIA video. Not for a soft audience.



MIA is one pissed off mama, and I dig it. The best word I can use for this video is: gnarly (sorry T. ha ha).

Imaginary Lines are Clearly Drawn

Labour Day, Loyalty Day, Law Day, International Workers Day, May Day

Law Day, U.S.A., along with Loyalty Day, was created to counterbalance [May day] celebrations, which were perceived as communist. On February 5, 1958, President Eisenhower recognized the first Law Day when he proclaimed that henceforth May 1 of each year would be Law Day. He stated “In a very real sense, the world no longer has a choice between force and law. If civilization is to survive it must choose the rule of law.” More specifically Loyalty Day is "a day set aside for the reaffirmation of loyalty to the United States and for the recognition of the heritage of American freedom."

(Bullshit)

I thought Arizona might be cool ...

ARTICLE 8. ENFORCEMENT OF IMMIGRATION LAWS

11-1051. Cooperation and assistance in enforcement of immigration laws; indemnification

A. NO OFFICIAL OR AGENCY OF THIS STATE OR A COUNTY, CITY, TOWN OR OTHER POLITICAL SUBDIVISION OF THIS STATE MAY LIMIT OR RESTRICT THE ENFORCEMENT OF FEDERAL IMMIGRATION LAWS TO LESS THAN THE FULL EXTENT PERMITTED BY FEDERAL LAW.

B. FOR ANY LAWFUL CONTACT MADE BY A LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICIAL OR AGENCY OF THIS STATE OR A COUNTY, CITY, TOWN OR OTHER POLITICAL SUBDIVISION OF THIS STATE WHERE REASONABLE SUSPICION EXISTS THAT THE PERSON IS AN ALIEN WHO IS UNLAWFULLY PRESENT IN THE UNITED STATES, A REASONABLE ATTEMPT SHALL BE MADE, WHEN PRACTICABLE, TO DETERMINE THE IMMIGRATION STATUS OF THE PERSON. ANY PERSON WHO IS ARRESTED SHALL HAVE THE PERSON'S IMMIGRATION STATUS DETERMINED BEFORE THE PERSON IS RELEASED. THE PERSON'S IMMIGRATION STATUS SHALL BE VERIFIED WITH THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT PURSUANT TO 8 UNITED STATES CODE SECTION 1373(c). A LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICIAL OR AGENCY OF THIS STATE OR A COUNTY, CITY, TOWN OR OTHER POLITICAL SUBDIVISION OF THIS STATE MAY NOT SOLELY CONSIDER RACE, COLOR OR NATIONAL ORIGIN IN IMPLEMENTING THE REQUIREMENTS OF THIS SUBSECTION EXCEPT TO THE EXTENT PERMITTED BY THE UNITED STATES OR ARIZONA CONSTITUTION. (yeah right) A PERSON IS PRESUMED TO NOT BE AN ALIEN WHO IS UNLAWFULLY PRESENT IN THE UNITED STATES IF THE PERSON PROVIDES TO THE LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER OR AGENCY ANY OF THE FOLLOWING:

1. A VALID ARIZONA DRIVER LICENSE.

2. A VALID ARIZONA NONOPERATING IDENTIFICATION LICENSE.

3. A TRIBAL ENROLLMENT CARD OR OTHER FORM OF TRIBAL IDENTIFICATION.

4. A VALID UNITED STATES FEDERAL, STATE OR LOCAL GOVERNMENT ISSUED IDENTIFICATION.

C. IF AN ALIEN WHO IS UNLAWFULLY PRESENT IN THE UNITED STATES IS CONVICTED OF A VIOLATION OF STATE OR LOCAL LAW, ON DISCHARGE FROM IMPRISONMENT OR ASSESSMENT OF ANY FINE THAT IS IMPOSED, THE ALIEN SHALL BE TRANSFERRED IMMEDIATELY TO THE CUSTODY OF THE UNITED STATES IMMIGRATION AND CUSTOMS ENFORCEMENT OR THE UNITED STATES CUSTOMS AND BORDER PROTECTION.

D. NOTWITHSTANDING ANY OTHER LAW, A LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCY MAY SECURELY TRANSPORT AN ALIEN WHO IS UNLAWFULLY PRESENT IN THE UNITED STATES AND WHO IS IN THE AGENCY'S CUSTODY TO A FEDERAL FACILITY IN THIS STATE OR TO ANY OTHER POINT OF TRANSFER INTO FEDERAL CUSTODY THAT IS OUTSIDE THE JURISDICTION OF THE LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCY. (YUCK)

E. EXCEPT AS PROVIDED IN FEDERAL LAW, OFFICIALS OR AGENCIES OF THIS STATE AND COUNTIES, CITIES, TOWNS AND OTHER POLITICAL SUBDIVISIONS OF THIS STATE MAY NOT BE PROHIBITED OR IN ANY WAY BE RESTRICTED FROM SENDING, RECEIVING OR MAINTAINING INFORMATION RELATING TO THE IMMIGRATION STATUS, LAWFUL OR UNLAWFUL, OF ANY INDIVIDUAL OR EXCHANGING THAT INFORMATION WITH ANY OTHER FEDERAL, STATE OR LOCAL GOVERNMENTAL ENTITY FOR THE FOLLOWING OFFICIAL PURPOSES: (No Privacy?)

1. DETERMINING ELIGIBILITY FOR ANY PUBLIC BENEFIT, SERVICE OR LICENSE PROVIDED BY ANY FEDERAL, STATE, LOCAL OR OTHER POLITICAL SUBDIVISION OF THIS STATE.

2. VERIFYING ANY CLAIM OF RESIDENCE OR DOMICILE IF DETERMINATION OF RESIDENCE OR DOMICILE IS REQUIRED UNDER THE LAWS OF THIS STATE OR A JUDICIAL ORDER ISSUED PURSUANT TO A CIVIL OR CRIMINAL PROCEEDING IN THIS STATE.

3. IF THE PERSON IS AN ALIEN, DETERMINING WHETHER THE PERSON IS IN COMPLIANCE WITH THE FEDERAL REGISTRATION LAWS PRESCRIBED BY TITLE II, CHAPTER 7 OF THE FEDERAL IMMIGRATION AND NATIONALITY ACT.

4. PURSUANT TO 8 UNITED STATES CODE SECTION 1373 AND 8 UNITED STATES CODE SECTION 1644.

F. A PERSON MAY BRING AN ACTION IN SUPERIOR COURT TO CHALLENGE ANY OFFICIAL OR AGENCY OF THIS STATE OR A COUNTY, CITY, TOWN OR OTHER POLITICAL SUBDIVISION OF THIS STATE THAT ADOPTS OR IMPLEMENTS A POLICY OR PRACTICE THAT LIMITS OR RESTRICTS THE ENFORCEMENT OF FEDERAL IMMIGRATION LAWS TO LESS THAN THE FULL EXTENT PERMITTED BY FEDERAL LAW. IF THERE IS A JUDICIAL FINDING THAT AN ENTITY HAS VIOLATED THIS SECTION, THE COURT SHALL ORDER ANY OF THE FOLLOWING:

1. THAT THE PERSON WHO BROUGHT THE ACTION RECOVER COURT COSTS AND ATTORNEY FEES.

2. THAT THE ENTITY PAY A CIVIL PENALTY OF NOT LESS THAN ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS AND NOT MORE THAN FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR EACH DAY THAT THE POLICY HAS REMAINED IN EFFECT AFTER THE FILING OF AN ACTION PURSUANT TO THIS SUBSECTION.

G. A COURT SHALL COLLECT THE CIVIL PENALTY PRESCRIBED IN SUBSECTION F AND REMIT THE CIVIL PENALTY TO THE DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC SAFETY FOR DEPOSIT IN THE GANG AND IMMIGRATION INTELLIGENCE TEAM ENFORCEMENT MISSION FUND ESTABLISHED BY SECTION 41‑1724.

H. EXCEPT IN RELATION TO MATTERS IN WHICH THE OFFICER IS ADJUDGED TO HAVE ACTED IN BAD FAITH, A LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER IS INDEMNIFIED BY THE LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER'S AGENCY AGAINST REASONABLE COSTS AND EXPENSES, INCLUDING ATTORNEY FEES, INCURRED BY THE OFFICER IN CONNECTION WITH ANY ACTION, SUIT OR PROCEEDING BROUGHT PURSUANT TO THIS SECTION TO WHICH THE OFFICER MAY BE A PARTY BY REASON OF THE OFFICER BEING OR HAVING BEEN A MEMBER OF THE LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCY. (F-H = Classism)

(If big brother isn't watching, your racist neighbor will be)

B. The attorney general shall prescribe a complaint form for a person to allege a violation of subsection A of this section. The complainant shall not be required to list the complainant's social security number on the complaint form or to have the complaint form notarized. On receipt of a complaint on a prescribed complaint form that an employer allegedly knowingly employs an unauthorized alien, the attorney general or county attorney shall investigate whether the employer has violated subsection A of this section. If a complaint is received but is not submitted on a prescribed complaint form, the attorney general or county attorney may investigate whether the employer has violated subsection A of this section. This subsection shall not be construed to prohibit the filing of anonymous complaints that are not submitted on a prescribed complaint form. The attorney general or county attorney shall not investigate complaints that are based solely on race, color or national origin. A complaint that is submitted to a county attorney shall be submitted to the county attorney in the county in which the alleged unauthorized alien is or was employed by the employer. The county sheriff or any other local law enforcement agency may assist in investigating a complaint. When investigating a complaint, the attorney general or county attorney shall verify the work authorization of the alleged unauthorized alien with the federal government pursuant to 8 United States Code section 1373(c).

Aren't we all basically immigrants to North America in some capacity? Don't we all (well almost all of us) have to work for a living?

Have some god-damned empathy people, and say thanks to the people who have worked to get you places!

You can also write to Arizona Governor Jan Brewer at this address:

The Honorable Jan Brewer
Governor of Arizona
1700 West Washington
Phoenix, Arizona 85007

Telephone (602) 542-4331
Toll Free 1-(800) 253-0883
Fax (602) 542-1381

(She also signed a bill repealing legislation put into place by the former governor Janet Napolitano, which had granted domestic partners of state employees the ability to be considered as "dependents," similar to the way married spouses are handled.
About 750 state workers will be affected.)

Lame Jan Brewer, lame.

Thanks Wikipedia for the historical info!

The Fox and the Grapes

Some people I know how to talk to and others I cannot. The ones that I cannot make me feel like a bit of a failure. Are my feelings justified, blah blah blahs? Who am I to say this is what you should do when not too long ago it was you telling me what to do. In all fairness I never listened, so why should you?

Cognitive dissonance is a bitch. Sometimes I feel like a real bitch, but it's only cause I get worried.

I know nothing. That's all I know.

What kind of daughter do you want me to be?

Birth

So yesterday I turned a year older or some such business. I'm pretty sure every year I say the same thing, I do not feel my age. Especially this year. Man, this age thing, who came up with it?

I actually don't care who came up with it, but it's sort of a mind trip. We're both at this age, but you are there and I am here and he is mature and she isn't or his clock is ticking and she doesn't care or they just can't relate or they are ten years apart and relate perfectly. You know?

Two weekends ago I was at a party filled with a few people I knew really well, a handful of acquaintances I knew fairly well, and a couple near strangers. I'm having a lovely time flitting around chatting and someone says, "Hey, where'd you get that bottle of champagne?" And I say I got it as a birthday gift, "Oh, how old are you going to be?" 26 Ya'll. That's right The Last Unicorn is in her mid to late twenties. I think I've officially bumped up a demographic. Big whoop. Age isn't something I normally think about too much or let limit me, but when a whole entire room of people falls silent and stares at you ... well it makes you feel sort of weird about that number attached to you in all the worst ways.

Growing up is so weird. I don't feel young and I don't feel old. I'm not in a rush. I'm just floating in this in between area, which is probably a really great place to be, but for now I just feel sort of lost. I just have to keep reminding myself that my journey is always going to be different than the person sitting next to me and hope that stuff lines up errry now and then. Just like my T. says, "What is 26 supposed to look or feel like anyway?"

So far so good.

Great Escape

I got a call today.

Brief transcript:

Do you support forcing the military to work in the field, housed in the barracks, submarines etc. with homosexuals?

The question was more of a statement. I started yelling in the phone and then a polite robot said, "If you don't answer Yes, No, or I don't know into the phone the survey will end. I quickly said Yes, but I thought damn, in what way is this "survey" going to be used? Am I going to show up on fox news in their little pie graph. 2% other or some shit? And why didn't they ask me if I support forcing the gay military to work with bigots?

I am getting antsy again. I need to get out of this state for a while. I need to go out and do something. I get a little nervous when I get squirrely. I can't center myself. Everything gets distorted in my little peanut head.

I need a little adventure that won't get me into trouble.

Fiddlehead

Fiddlehead Ferns have popped up all over the side of the house where I live and are slowly unfurling.

They pretty much make my day everyday. I'm such a sucker for plants.

Today is my third day without coffee and boy am I tired. Yesterday I took a nap. Today I want to take a nap. I just want to curl up in the sun like a cat and wake up when I get hungry.

I should probably be studying instead.

Bah. Maybe I'll just listen to the Cubs game, ha ha.

Edit: Apparently you can eat these ferns, but I don't want to. Apparently, they are a delicacy on the east coast.

Half Donkey

Self motivation.

I need some more.

What am I waiting for? I think I've spent enough of my life waiting waiting waiting.

I should be doing doing doing.

Ooooyeah.

No more excuses.

I love Annie Leonard"s "Story of Stuff" from a couple years ago, so here is her new schtick on the PR miracle of bottled water and its environmental blowback. Unfortunately she gets the story a weeee bit wrong considering tap water in certain areas of the U.S. is increasingly linked with higher rates of cancer, autism, and who knows what else due to industrial runoff. But that's a whole 'nother bag of policy worms, eh? Enjoy, think about it, and if you have the time watch Story of Stuff, maybe you'll think twice about buying that super cheap crap you don't really need on sale at Target.

Equilibrium

Last night I was dozing off to the sweet sounds of The Office and this name kept popping into my head randomly. I was familiar with the name, but I couldn't place what the heck it was from. I fell asleep saying it to myself. It was really fucking weird. Not to mention slightly annoying because I couldn't put a face or location to this name.

This afternoon I went outside to catch some rays and grabbed a book I started and then put down a couple of weeks ago. Lo and behold the name appears. For some reason I was shocked to see this name my lips couldn't help but speak printed on the page. The character was introduced some ten pages back before I put down the book weeks ago. It makes sense that my mind would recall it, but why did it push through my subconscious and bully my conscious mind into invoking it with breath?

I'm still baffled by it. I mean, if your mind plays a trick on you it has never played before do you perk up and listen or do you cast it off in nonchalance? I'm never one to underestimate the power of randomness, but this weirds me out. Was it the book or the character or just the name that piqued my subconscious/conscious mind?

By the way, the book is not the bible ha ha.

Lumber Dive

Saw old friends and drank just enough Schlitz.
Listened to Sam Cooke on the way home with the windows down.
The night smells dark and earthy and it makes me feel warm and happy.
Drinking plum tea and watching Silence of the lambs in espanol.
Going to bed thinking about the infinite void. And sometimes it doesn't terrify me.

What a good and random night.
I'm so glad Spring came when it did.

Pygmy Hippo Pies

Marathon watching The Office instead of doing homework.
Sunburned.
Surprise money.
Good and tired.

All around nice day.

Doub Doub Doublespeak Ya'll

Amusing Ourselves to Death, a rad comic by Stuart Mcmillen

"Orwell warns that we will be overcome by an externally imposed oppression. But in Huxley's vision, no Big Brother is required to deprive people of their autonomy, maturity and history. As he saw it, people will come to love their oppression, to adore the technologies that undo their capacities to think."

- Neal Postman, "Amusing Ourselves to Death"

Ala Fresco

It came on so sudden. The smells and the warmth and the wet. I had actually forgotten what real sunshine felt like on my skin. It couldn't have come at a better time, because I was feeling another wave of melancholy start to creep in, but I effectively fought it off with a broom and a bicycle.

Yes, spring is here. Well technically it's not here until March 20th BUT I'm officially shooing winter out my back door and gingerly inviting Spring in for an extended stay.

Wooo.

Sometimes:

:(

Sew I Says to Julie I Says

I want to try sewing my own undies.
I also want all the snow to melt and for things to get green and growy.
I also want to go to Cici's Pizza Buffet with lover boy and eat crappy pizza till my belly hurts.