She said I would cry, but I didn't believe her. As the head slipped out of the passageway a wave of emotion came over me, also onto my shoes and scrubs. She gripped my hand and we made eye contact. "Yo. It's a girl." The next five minutes were a blur. Blood poured from her as the doctor began his work. My arms became heavy with soiled linens. "Put those down! Come and feel the cord pulsing."
So I did. Wiping tears from the tip of my nose without getting blood or bodily fluids on my face is a skill they didn't teach us in school. The peds doctor came in and saw me looking dumbfounded, "I know right? It never gets old." Even though I watched the entire process, as I placed lil L on the warmer I couldn't comprehend how she just came from inside that. After assessing the new human I placed her back on her mom's chest while the doctor removed any remaining placental fragments or clots, "Damn, I'm in love." Cue tears.
When I get salty about having to get up early or not getting to go out and get wild, I'll think of this moment. I will think of the privilege I have to experience such awesome feats of nature. I'll think of A falling in love with the newest member of her family. This frustration at missing out on everything is temporary, but these images and experiences will stay with me forever.