I'm pretty positive one of my students followed me home today. Uh, Brian? Can I help you? Shakes his head while eating his ice cream, "Hello teacher." And then stares...for like a minute. So I unlock my door and go inside. Weird right?
Speaking of my students.
I've made exactly three of my students cry (it's not as bad as it sounds they are like five) all of them being boys. I feel like a manchild-eater.
Today was a particularly heart wrenching example.
RY is a very active day dreamer. Today we were doing a super simple exercise and he fell way behind (like always), not because he's not bright by any means but because he was singing to himself and playing with his pencil instead of copying what was on the board. You know what came next ... my heart cringed a little as I reprimanded him for falling so behind. After giving him a stern face and letting him know that he really needed to pay attention I walked away to check the other student's worksheet.
Five or so minutes later he had only written two letters and was back to daydreaming. After another (more) stern reprimand I stood over him to make sure he finished at least the sentence as he fell further behind. I was feeling crappy because I was a big day dreamer in all levels of school and didn't like the tone I took with him, because after all he WAS holding the class up.
As I stood by him I saw the fear and possibly embarrassment (we're waiting for you) well up in his face. His lip quivered and his eyes grew in front of me questioning asking me why was it so wrong to get lost in my imagination to not finish this stupid worksheet. When I realized he was so upset I immediately distracted the class with something else. I stooped down beside him rubbing his back. What could I say? Dude, don't worry you don't have to finish this garbage, English is overrated? That's what I wanted to say, but all I could muster up was a don't worry buddy, we'll wait, you just got to try and keep up, okay. It's not big deal.
Ugh. When will I find a job where I don't feel like I'm selling out my soul? I know that school is a necessary evil, but he's five. Five year olds learn best through play, it's science. Unfortunately at this school, I'm married to the curriculum. Stupid Jesuits.
Ughhhhh. I don't want to make any more cute kids cry.