Every single year I'm surprised when my birthday rolls around. Weeks before it looms like a dark ship. I wonder about what that number represents. What do people expect from a 25 year old*? I've been on this earth for a quarter of this century. That sounds so old. But people in my life remind me that I'm basically a baby with a little bit of hindsight. I certainly don't feel 25. I don't care about growing older, but something about the officiality of turning one year older makes me fear that number. Everyone asks me what I'm going to do and how I'm going to celebrate and what gifts do I want. I DON'T KNOW. So the days leading up to this anniversary of birth is spent filled with anxiety. I experience a similar phenomenon with New Year's Eve, though I love the idea of "renewal" and starting over, it's the expectations for grand plans that leave me feeling anxious.
But every cold snowy December 31st at the last minute, when we've all decided that there simply isn't anything to do, the night's plans unfold before us. Every year it's something exciting, adventurous, or at the very least entertainingly ridiculous! But unlike New Year's Eve I don't expect anything grand or terribly out of the ordinary on my birthday. I fret because I don't want anyone to feel bad when they forget it even passed. Of course the people in my life are just too good for that. They never forget and this year was not an exception. And that's the surprise every year I seem to be having better and better birthdays. Isn't that illegal after like 21!?
This year I realized that birthdays really aren't something to fret about or get anxious over. No matter who is around or what you are doing it's a cause to pause. Time is ticking, how am I spending it? My new birthday motto is celebrate life, not your impending death. I felt like this year I really did that. My night wasn't all about me, but all about making myself enjoy my night no matter what number someone prescribed to me.
And yeah the free drinks and the gifts and all the super cool kids I met were a really nice perk too. Thanks everyone.
* Who cares right?