Sunday, April 12, 2009

My Life Without Me

This weekend was the most surreal weekend I've had since forever. I am beside myself. It all started en route to the Titus show and got crazy as shit, non-stop the whole weekend. A few highlights:

1) Coming a fraction of a second away from getting in a fist-fight with the coat-check lady from Metro. "Don't mind me I'm just the coat check lady...Get the fuck out of MY coatcheck, no really you have two seconds before I punch you and then call security." Say whaaaaat? We could have taken her out, but we were just too confused as to why we would need to do that ...

2) Turning down Ghiardelli chocolates from a homeless man. Watching said homeless man getting tackled by the police outside the window approx. 30sec later.

3) Sunshine Cleaning, not a light hearted comedy like the previews lead you to believe. Not a good birthday movie. This is the kind of movie where the realities of life start perching atop your shoulders and make you sink slowly into the ground until your telling yourself that this could never be MY life ... right? Right? But it is your life in a way. It's everyon's life. Sets the tone for the rest of the weekend. A morphing ball of sad, happy, and disillusioned.

4) Two words: Hollywood Casino. Casinos are the weirdest most unholy places in the world. Perfect place to spend the first few hours of Easter 2K9.

5) Three words: Hit and RUN! "Hey are you okay?" Man staggering out of car carrying front and back license plates, " No, yes, could you give me a ride?" Uhhhm. Fleeing the scene of an accident anyone? One BMW down, one million to go.

6) The weight of reality finally breaking lil ol' me. The boy, the coatcheck woman, the characters in the movie, the man in his divorce, the gamblers, the drunk driver, my best friend getting older. I just absorbed it all, thusly crying myself to sleep. I woke up in my clothes with snot on my hoody. Keep reminding myself that it's gonna be allright, even for the man with the hit & run on his record.

7) Easter. A gaggle of pre-teen girls calling me agent bumble-bee not believing that I was going to turn 25 in less than ten days. "No, I won't be your partner for the egg hunt, because I'm hiding the eggs." "But you're not a grown up ... want to go play web-kinz and look at pictures of the Jonas Bros?" They cried when I left, tears actually fell from their eyeballs. I felt like a weird ghost of Easter future warning them about the dangers of too much tude' and the glassy stares of the Jonas brothers. They believed me because they thought I was one of them. Was I ever one of them?

8) Awkward encounters on the train because I'm too idealistic and too stubborn to be good at this stuff.

9) Realization that you're going to have to pretend not to care or go bat-crazy. I'm good at pretending.

10) Be and Tor all weekend make me feel like I'm drinking honey lemon tea. You might be sick, but at least you have this great tea to warm you up a bit. Some people don't even have tea. Best friends are somethin' special.

It wasn't a bad weekend, just crazy and too bright and just too much. I'm still reeling from it. I felt like I was stationary while the entire weekend whirled around me. Now, I'm tired. So tired.

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