Friday, March 16, 2007

The Rights of Spring

Spent time with lovely today:
Perhaps the only convincing love story of our century.
I was hard about it at first, but now I tread soft. Such a way to
with rain comes growth and the stretching towards the sun.
Change in revolutions
slow, but I can see the evolution before my very eyes.
I wonder if I'll ever be able to fully understand such a phenomenon.
Mostly tell myself I won't
(don't want to)
but when it comes down to the time and era
I think I might
embrace it more so than most. Fall into the mode of
thinking that's undeniably heart-shaped and slightly overprotective.
I promise never to forget all I've
learned (balance, understanding etc.),
most importantly what came before.
For now and a long time come, I'm
completely content with baby on lap, and
not the oven!

Had a nice chat with lilK and we talked about his friend "who recorded like 9 yrs of his life on napkins, paper towels, and just random paper and then threw it all away one day." He also has good taste in movies, but that's besides the point ...

Damn. I need to be that person. The person who can walk away from things, eras, modes of thinking. I'm getting better at it, but sometimes I feel myself getting caught up in time and material. How ugly. It's human nature, I suppose, but I'm not sure I'm willing to accept that. I don't want to be dated, I want to live in the moment. Not at the expense of lost-connection, but in the spirit of opening myself up to connection.

As I drove down the boulevard today:
I noticed all the construction where grasslands and cornfields once lay. Target a few miles away from ... another Target. Old Navy (where I worked slave wage silly for nearly three years of my life). An auto mall full of guzzling metal monsters. Restaurant, Restaurant, Coffee Joint, Restaurant, and on till I intersected with the toll way. All a sudden I felt awful. SICK. I wanted to turn around right then, go back to my home follow the trail to the bridge sit underneath the tree and ... do what? Where is my place amongst all this?

Spring break is over, and not a moment too soon. Not too short and not too long. Caught up on friends, family, and rest. BUT I miss all the crazy colorfuls at school!!! Here at home I am a tetrahedron peg trying to fit into a square hole. I didn't fit before, and I probably never will. Today I'm okay with that.

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