Monday, February 19, 2007

Apocolyptic Notions

All of a sudden I'm feeling quite protective of the things I currently hold most dear. Protectiveness for the Last Unicorn comes in the form of insecurity. Rather than grasp I let go. Or (let's be honest) doubt my grasp, because I too have trouble letting go. I examine (because that's what I'm good at) why; a bleary conclusion points a cold and dry finger at the impending sense of doom that has recently pervaded my conciousness.

And I will always equate the changing of seasons with you
that man-child disappeared from my life. forever for good?
and how does she feel about that? (she being me)
A) like a glass menagerie
relieved, but fragile as such.

and with that I feel like I'm not learning anything that makes me think hard.
(just hardly, enough to send shivers, but best friend says you're not a pessismist)
I'm not. No, I see my cup full (maybe because I stole your's half empty).

I don't even need to practice primal rhythms with him*

It's hard to write with colors. I just have winter white said shades. pales and palers still. It's hard to not be blue when you've spent a winter and a year's time wallowing in the shadow of something else.

oh. that's it. something did end. I'm just spooked of all that's begining, because I know it too will probably end. But doesn't everything. I remember someone yelling to me from a pulpit: The Benefits of Life Everlasting. Well I rather like the cycles of death and re-birth. But this one seems extra long, because it was extra harsh. Figuratively, Meteorogically, Literally.

*and will this season be extra opposite of what came before? Seven day forecasts aren't that accurate. I find myself with a hole where you used to be. The damage is done, but my polar ice-caps are left intact (so there).

The spring is still cold. But I'm waking up. Grasping tighter, but not too tight. Reaching out but no too far. The snow is melting. Around my organs and beneath my feet.

Oh bother why must I type-complain

(remember what I said happens when the mercury hits a farenheit 45? tehee)


No comments: